for starters.....

i've so many things on my mind....in my heart...no one to share it with...dang!!! and it's friggin cold even...i woke up on a very cool afternoon....i've never been so lonely and never been so alone in my life....geez!! i feel a lil guilty tho... i have my kids and even my granddaughter with me...and yet....it's different...i am a woman....still a woman...despite being a grandmother....a young grandmother, i'd like to think...anyways, i am just 41....am still young, i guess....young to want to love and be loved....by someone.....ahhhh!!! that's it...am horny.....lol....well...am only human...come on......hate that twilight thing...intensified the emptiness in my life nowadays...i need my own edward....someone who would love me...me alone...despite of my flaws and imperfections....but then again, i don't want an ice-cold vampire....i need a warm-blooded male...might not be perfect like edward cullen....but then again...who's perfect anyways? that's why i made this blog...dunno...maybe i might meet the second wind in my life...i've been separated for years now....had some sprinklings of boyfriends here and there....but still i feel so empty....wish i would meet that someone who would dazzle me again....haha...dazzle i say....am too much into the twilight thing and am not even a teenager anymore...i've almost four teenagers now......sigh.....oh well... i guess this is a good starter, at least....i've got to move on and prepare for work....work is fine....could be better....oh well, i must be grateful...i've spoken to a lot of desperate americans in the past few months...some even crying in shame and desperation coz of their financial situation...yeah, i am glad i have work....really, i wish everything would be ok with the world soon...might be cliche...but right now, i am wishing for world peace and stability......geez!!! i feel like a beauty contest candidate now.....haha...but am genuine in my wish tho....if the americans would be stable financially then i would have a lot of collections...i would meet my quota and that means more money in the bank....haha...oh well....just trying to amuse myself here....going ....going....gone!!!!